5 Questions with Gary Thomas

Welcome to 5 Questions With.....

Today's guest is Gary Thomas. Gary Thomas is a writer and founder of the Center for Evangelical Spirituality. He is the author of several books including Sacred Marriage, Sacred Pathways, Holy Available, Sacred Parenting, and the Gold Medallion Award-winning Authentic Faith. Gary speaks at approximately 50 churches, denominational meetings and ministry gatherings every year, teaching at seminars designed to equip Christians to grow in their faith. These seminars vary from one-evening sessions to a week long or weekend format and address the essential elements of Christian spirituality from an evangelical perspective.

And now without further delay, on to the questions:

Hi Gary,

Question 1: What one word would describe your current relationship with God?

Son.

Question 2: What was the catalyst for you to begin teaching about marriage?

It was my own experience. I couldn't find any other books that looked at the spiritual challenge of marriage, but I found myself being tested and tried as a married man in ways I'd never been tried as a single man - and I saw the benefits of having my sin exposed, learning to serve and other aspects of marital life. After living it for 15 years, as a writer it was natural for me to want to explore it on paper - and so I did.

Question 3: How do you balance teaching, writing and family?

When I had a "job," I wrote in the mornings, before anyone else was up, and on weekends, when the kids napped. By the time they were older, writing and teaching became my occupation, so it fit into the work week. As far as traveling goes, when the kids were younger, I let my wife have veto power over every speaking invitation. We talked about the balance between needing the income, the ministry opportunity, and the time away from home. It wasn't, and isn't, easy - in fact, trying to balance them has likely been one of the greatest stresses in my life.

Question 4: Sacred Marriage, Sacred parenting; it seems that much of your teaching is about letting God change you, rather than those around you. How big of a problem is self-centeredness in our relationships with God and others?

I think self-centeredness is the BIGGEST problem. When you read Scripture and the Christian classics, it's clear that humility is the chief virtue, and pride the chief sin. Thankfully, marriage and parenting both represent some of the most effective arenas in all of human experience to grow in selflessness, which the ancients would have called humility.

Question 5: If you could only have 5 minutes to impact a couple with truth about Christian marriage, what would you tell them?

Feelings fade; it's a scientific certainty. Marriage will pinch your feet, point out your weaknesses, raise little irritations - embrace these soul-scouring aspects of marriage instead of fighting them, and learn to appreciate your spouse as a sibling in Christ instead of resenting them for being used by God to point them out. And finally, never, ever forget you're married to God's son or God's daughter. When you truly believe that God is your father-in-law as well as your father, your marriage will never be the same; that's where worship (honoring God) and marriage (loving your spouse) come together.

Thanks you so much Gary.

There you have it. I would encourage you to check out Gary's website. There you will find an extensive bio, free resources and videos to view.

Also a special thank you to my colleague, Stanley Groothof, who introduced me to Gary Thomas and who really set this interview up for me.

To see past 5 Question guests, check out the rotating interview links on the sidebar.

Sacred Marriage - The Event

When I 1st saw the signs around town, back in October, I looked with interest at the premise: A weekend marriage event with Gary Thomas, author of Scared Marriage.

A local congregation, Telkwa CRC, was bringing Gary up for a Sacred Marriage event and my wife and I were stoked. It sounded awesome and we wanted all of our friends and acquaintances to check it out.

We went with some friends and Sarah and I were greatly impacted by this event. Gary uses humour and hard hitting truth to break through the veneer of self righteousness that so many of us hate to admit we struggle with. I know in my own life, I found it easier to blame my spouse for things when in reality, the finger should have been pointed at me.

To me the true test of a conference or event is how it impacts you 2-3 months after the event. Well my wife and I are still going back to the things Gary shared. having seen God restore our own marriage, we were excited to share what we learned with others. Gary's book has become THE marriage book we recommend.

However, I think if you can get to a marriage event with Gary Thomas you should go. He brings the book to life and you will find your marriage and your relationship with the Lord strengthened. Check out Gary's schedule and to find an event near you. Or better yet, have your church invite Gary to speak.

Sacred Marriage - The Book

Once in a while a book comes along that not only speaks to you, but it says exactly what you would say if you could articulate it as well as the author did.

Sacred Marriage is that kind of book. The book starts with the question:

What if God designed marriage to make us holy instead of happy?

Yes it's that kind of book. My wife and I found that this book took everything you've ever read in a marriage book and flipped it on it's ear. It is challenging. You can't come away from this book without feeling the need to get your perspective straight.

If you want to strengthen your marriage and more importantly, your relationship with the Lord, then this is the book for you. Gary Thomas, the author of this marriage classic, takes you on a journey in Sacred Marriage. He peels away the desire to change your spouse and get's to the core of the issue....self-centeredness. Dig in and discover how God wants to make you holy!

Read how to turn marital struggles into spiritual and personal appreciation. Learn to love your spouse with a stronger sense of purpose. Transform a “tired” marriage into a relationship filled with awe and respect. Your life will never be the same.

If you have never read this book then I want to encourage you to pick up a copy today at your local Christian bookstore. Sacred Marriage is published by Zondervan.