My wife wrote this piece and gave me permission to post it here:
Our son's screams filled the air,
“You're killing me! Stop!” My efforts to remove a splinter from
his foot were not appreciated. I decided to stop until he could
regain his composure. Eventually we ended up putting him in the
bathtub to soak it, as it became evident that any further
attempts
would have to be delayed until he was asleep. CJ has very
instant
and intense emotional reactions, which means that reasoning with
him
just doesn't work much of the time.
I wonder if this is sort of how I
relate to my heavenly Father? Do I fight the processes by which
He
intends to make me whole? Do I surrender myself to His kind,
loving,
nurturing hand, or do I doubt His intentions towards me?
When I think about the way CJ's
emotional response works against him, and even hurts him, I
realize that the same applies to me. Though I may not
literally scream and kick, I think sometimes deep down, there
are
some negative beliefs which keep me from experiencing the
benefits of
His care.
Like my son screaming that I am
hurting him, my own inner turmoil keeps me from hearing God's
firm,
yet gentle commands: “Trust me. I will be here for you. Listen
to
me: I want you to cling to me. I am your safety and your supply.
I
won't leave you alone. I am your healer, your provider, your
rest...” Instead of realizing the safety provided in His arms, I
stay busy figuring out solutions, and pulling away from His
tender
touch.
“But now,
says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you,
O
Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you: I have called you
by
name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will
be with
you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you
walk through the fire, you will not be burned, and the flame
shall
not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of
Israel, your Saviour. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and
Seba in
exchange for your life. Because you are precious and honoured
in my
eyes, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in
exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you... '.” Isaiah
43:1-5
My son may not hear
me as I attempt to assure him that I am on his side, but it is
true,
nonetheless. Likewise, whether I choose to believe it or not,
the
truth remains that I have a Father who fights fiercely for me,
who
loved me enough to give his only son for me, who will be with me
always, and who waits for me to understand how precious I am to
Him.
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