Why Men Cheat

Let me clear up any confusion about why men cheat. 

Despite what some ministers and authors may tell you, the real reason men cheat can be boiled down to one, three letter word.

The reason: SIN

Let me give you some background to why I am writing about this.

Last week I came across a video clip of Pat Robertson answering a question on his show, the 700 Club.  I will go ahead and post it here.



Now, as much as I disagree with Pat Robertson, he is not the first minister or author I have heard who has laid the blame for husbands cheating at the feet of the wife.  I almost didn't post the video because I did not want o focus on Robertson himself, but on this viewpoint in general.

A few things come to mind when I hear this line of thinking that women should do more for their husbands so they won't stray. 

First, it's not Scriptural.  There is no Scriptural justification to the line of thinking that a man strays because the women is not keeping the "home fires burning."  Let me point out a passage of Scripture that addresses why men cheat.  It is found in the book of Genesis.  Eve has believed the enemies lies and eats the fruit God forbid them to eat.  Adam then CHOSE to eat that fruit as well.  Adam made a choice.  He CHOSE to disobey God.

Men, and women for that matter, cheat because they make a CHOICE to disobey God and to no longer stay faithful to their spouse.  That choice to sin cannot be laid at anyone else's door. 

Secondly, to blame the women for a husbands moral failure does a disservice to the victim.  I wish more Christians would practice active listening instead of feeling the need to run off at the mouth and blame the victim of someone else's sinful choices. 

Finally, by saying that men have a tendency to wander, as Pat Robertson implied, is just plain offensive.  Not every man chooses or is tempted to sin in this way.  However, we all (men and women) are tempted to sin.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."  1 Corinthians 10:13

That way out is to turn to the Father!  It is to run to the King of Kings, dig into His Word, and to pray without ceasing.  Surround yourself with other believers and seek their prayers as well.  When one is finding satisfaction in Christ, he won't need to search elsewhere for satisfaction.

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15

The choice is yours.

5 Questions With Ted Kluck

Welcome to 5 Questions With.....

It's been awhile but I'm back with another interview.

Today's guest is Ted Kluck.

From his website: Ted Kluck is the author of several books, on topics ranging from Mike Tyson to the Emergent Church. Both Why We’re Not Emergent and Why We Love the Church (with Kevin DeYoung) won Christianity Today Book of the Year awards, and Paper Tiger: One Athlete’s Journey to the Underbelly of Pro Football won a Michigan Notable Book award in 2008. His work has also appeared in ESPN the Magazine and Christianity Today.

Ted has played professional indoor football, coached high school football, trained as a professional wrestler, served as a missionary, and taught writing courses at the college level. He lives in Grand Ledge, MI with his wife Kristin and sons Tristan and Maxim. He once owned a used Volvo and currently has a boxing ring in his basement.

His latest book is “Finding God In The Dark” from Bethany House.  I recently reviewed his book here: Finding God In The Dark

OK, let's get to it:

1. How did Finding God In The Dark come about?

In general, it came about as a result of spending lots of time in the spiritual, metaphorical dark (as opposed to the actual dark).  I'm, prone to bouts of anxiety, darkness and depression anyway, but in the book I wrote about some specific circumstances - infertility, a failed adoption, career struggles - that led to a long, pervasive feeling of "darkness."  At some point I met my co-author Ronnie Martin ( a former rock star), we became fast friends (because, I think, we understood this propensity in each other...and because we like the same movies) and the idea of the book was discussed.  

2. Why, in your opinion, do we struggle to believe God is good?

Because life sometimes, or even often, sucks.  Because other Christians sometimes, or even often, disappoint us.  The problem with living in a fallen world that is stained by sin, is that each day we're surrounded by a lot of dark circumstances.  In this, we're tempted to say things like, "How can a God who is good allow _________?"  Fill in the blank with your difficult circumstances.  Sometimes these circumstances are a direct result of our own sin, sometimes they're spiritual attack, and sometimes they're just where God wants us at the time to sanctify us.  But in any case, they're still hard. 
 
3. You call Psalm 51 a "blueprint for confession."  Can you explain what you mean by that?

This is a really comforting passage for me, as it is for a lot of people.  David, who was both "a man after God's own heart" and also responsible for a big time Sin-a-Palooza (adultery and murder), gives us an amazing example of what humble confession looks like.  He acknowledged in the passage that he has sinned against God, and that he desperately desires a clean heart.  He then asks God to restore his joy...which is an amazing, counter-intuitive, but beautiful thing for those of us who have ever felt guilty (which is everyone).  

4. What would you say is the key to finding God in the dark? 

The easy, Sunday School answer is "Jesus."  Come to think of it, that's actually the real answer.  I could drone on and pontificate about humility (important), confession (important) and repentance (important) and some more about community (important) and God's Word (paramount), but that's what the book is for (droning on).

5. What do you hope the readers take away from the book?

First, I hope people who are struggling feel less alone.  Ironically, churches can feel pretty isolating when you're hurting.  I think the enemy uses this...as I've often felt, in church, like everyone else is absolutely excelling in life while I'm circling the drain and am a complete spiritual, personal, and financial failure.  This isn't true.  But more importantly, regardless of circumstances, I hope the book encourages people to find their hope and peace in the cross of Jesus Christ.  He's our only hope for dealing with guilt...and our only comfort in this life and the next. 

Thank You Ted!

 If you get the chance, check out Ted's website here and make sure to pick up a copy of Finding God In The Dark today.

Finding God In The Dark

Finding God In the Dark is a new book by Ted Kluck and Ronnie Martin.  The tag line says "Faith, Disappointment, and the Struggle to Believe."

Well this was the perfect book for me to read going into my vacation from work.  In fact, it felt like I was reading my life story of late. 

Which is what I like about this book.  Kluck and Martin have written a book that is relatable on so many levels.  Not everyone can be an author (Kluck) or a musician (Martin) and yet, if we are honest, we have all had our share of struggles and disappointments.

The authors bring things right to the forefront and address some tough issues.  From unbelief and self-sufficiency to  doubt and trying to re-make God in our own image, the authors leave no stone unturned. 

Ronnie Martin wrote one line that I feel sums up the book quite well.

"Knowing that God is greater than our doubts gives us greater hope in Him." Page 107

Do yourself a favor, if you are struggling to believe, if doubt is creeping in or you are just downright dissapointed with God, then grab a copy of this book today.  Couple this book with prayer and the Word of God and you will find a new perspective on life.

"Book has been provided courtesy of Graf-Martin Communications and (Bethany House" in exchange for an honest review."

Celebrate Pentecost, Celebrate!

When Pentecost, the Fiftieth day after Passover, came, all the believers were together in one place.  Suddenly, a sound like a violently blowing wind came from the sky and filled the whole house where they were staying.  Tongues that looked like fire appeared to them.  The tongues arranged themselves so that one came to rest on each believer.  All the believers were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages as the Spirit gave them the ability to speak.  (Acts 2:1-4)

This Sunday marks the day on the calendar when Christians celebrate the Day of Pentecost.  We celebrate the Holy Spirit coming and filling believers.

Sometimes lost in that celebration is the history of Pentecost.  I believe we need that history to fully understand how significant this event truly is.

What was Pentecost?  It was a solemn festival of the Jews, so called because it was celebrated on the fiftieth day after the sixteenth of Nisan, (Mid March to Mid April) which was the second day of the Passover.  It was called the feast of weeks, because it was celebrated seven weeks after the Passover.  It was instituted to oblige the people to go to the temple of the Lord, there to acknowledge His absolute dominion over the country, and to offer Him the first fruits of the country.  In addition, they were to remember and give thanks to God for the law which had been given them at Sinai on the fiftieth day from their flight from Egypt!

A celebration of the law!

Imagine that celebration!

Woo-Hoo...the law!

Party!

Things have changed now though,.  Instead of celebrating the law, we celebrate the Holy Spirit filling each and every believer.

We went from celebrating law to celebrating life!

How do we get from law to life?

Jesus Christ!

Salvation!

At the end of Acts chapter 2, we see that when the Spirit came, thousands repented and were baptized!  The church grew by leaps and bounds and a genuine love for others was on display!

This summer, why not choose life? If you have already made that choice, then you really do have a reason to celebrate Pentecost!

Resting Well - Just A Thought #57

Mark 6:30-32, "The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves."

Sounds like the apostles were busy and Jesus knew they needed a break.  Do you ever feel like you don't even have a chance to catch a quick meal before you go, go, go?

Do you feel like you rest well?  I am not talking about sleep, though that is an issue for many, but resting and refreshing in the Lord?  Do you take time away to renew and refresh yourself in His presence?  Are you stopping from the hustle and bustle to reconnect with the Father?

How well do you rest? 

I am SLOWLY learning the value of rest in the midst of a busy season.  I have intentionally pulled back from some things...even some of my leisure activities, in order to rest more.  I am finding my thoughts turning to the Lord as I seek His wisdom on what to pick up and what to lay down.

We should allow rest to shift our attention.  To pull back from the things that keep us busy and to re-focus on the Kingdom of God.

We should use this time to get refocused.  Our priorities may need to be re-shifted as we seek to balance our relationship with God, family, work and play.

Do we truly slow down enough when we rest?  As it says in Ecclesiastes, there is a season for everything.

God gave us days to work, but he also calls us to take a Sabbath, a time to rest.  We should not feel guilty when we slow down and stop to breathe.

"There remains therefore a rest for the people of God." (Hebrews 11:9)

We may work well but do we rest well?