Spankings - Are they really any good?

I looked up the word discipline in the dictionary and I saw 3 things that stood out:

1 - Punishment
2 - Instruction
3 - Training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.

Sadly instruction was considered an obsolete definition. The 3rd one is what I think of when I think of discipline. To disciple, to mold. This to me is what a parent does. They mold and shape a child. This should be done in love. There should be a heaping dose of mercy and grace. There should also be some punishments when behavior reaches the point of extreme.

However the world now equates discipline with definition #1 - Punishment. Spanking is looked at as corporal punishment. Spanking is also looked at as abuse.

I was reading the newspaper this week and saw that Canada is considering outlawing spankings...or making the conditions such that no one will ever be able to do it without fear of government crackdown.

I posed a question to a group I interact with online (both Christians and non-Christians) this past week and the consensus was fairly evenly divided. The question was simple: Spankings....good thing or bad thing? I am not talking about the unbridled abuse of children. I am talking about what my Dad use to do. My Dad would send us to our room to think about things....this was, I found out as an adult, so he could calm down and never strike us in anger. Then he would proceed up the steps and administer 1-3 swats on the butt....never bare. This was an infrequent event and only when we crossed the line in treatment of our mother or acted in such a way that we endangered ourselves or others. I never got one I didn't deserve and didn't get ones I did deserve!

Some I asked said spanking is always abusive. There are other ways to discipline was another statement I heard often.

So I went to the Bible. What does the Bible say? I found some Scriptures in the KJV and then looked those same Scriptures up in the God's Word translation...an easier to understand English translation. Interestingly this is what I found:

"Whoever refuses to spank his son hates him, but whoever loves his son disciplines him from early on." (Proverbs 13:24)

"Foolishness is firmly attached to a child's heart. Spanking will remove it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15)

"Do not hesitate to discipline a child. If you spank him, he will not die. Spank him yourself, and you will save his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

"A spanking and a warning produce wisdom, but an undisciplined child disgraces his mother."
(Proverbs 29:15)

Pretty strong stuff! Just looking at the last verse alone, I have seen many undisciplined children kicking, cursing and screaming at their mothers in grocery stores and Wal-Marts while a frantic mother tries to soothingly appease and quiet the child, embarrassed by their actions. Usually they buy the kid what they asked for to shut them up. Sad....very sad.

Discipline can be done and should be done in love. It should involve nurturing, care, love and punishment. It should be fair and focused. The goal should be to "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

When done correctly it is an act of love. When done wrongly it can be abusive.

So spankings...are they good? I believe so.

My name is Rick Apperson, I was spanked as a child and I endorse this message!

Disciplined By God

Deuteronomy 8:5 "Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the LORD your God disciplines you."

Discipline is never a fun topic. It oftentimes hurts to be corrected. Yet God corrects us for a reason.

A few weeks back I felt the Lord speak correction into my life. He began to convict me for not always "listening" to the hearts of the people he brings me into contact with. In my job I see a lot of homeless and low income families. It is very easy to listen to the same stories over and over and begin to let your mind drift or to tune out the heart of what is being spoken. As I was sitting in the drop-in centre awhile back I felt the Lord "strongly" urge me to pay attention to what 2 different people were saying. As I focused in I saw a "new" side to these individuals as they shared some of their heart. It was an eye-opening experience.

The hard part was what came next. As I realized what I had been missing in my "assumptions" of the conversations the Lord chastised me for not "seeing" what He saw in them. I felt the Lord breaking away some calluses that had begun to appear. Social service work is hard and it is a battle to not become cynical to the situations. I am not proud of the fact that I was becoming dulled to the stories.

I had to repent and ask the Lord to soften my heart in these areas again.

Hebrews 12:6 "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."

Discipline can hurt, it can be quite painful. Yet the Lord has a purpose in it. We may not see it at the time. We may not see it for a long time. However God loves us and He wants what is best for us. Just as parents correct their child God corrects us when we need it.

Hebrews 12:10 "For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness."

God wants us to share in His holiness, to reflect Him. He will bring correction in our life as needed. The struggle for us is not to fight it. When we try to "save" ourselves from discipline we only end up miserable. It is far better to let the Lord deal with us as needed.

I am still feeling a bit "sore" from my recent correction and I pray the Lord continues to break away the calluses so I can "see" what He sees for the hurting.

I want to be receptive to His discipline for I know His purpose is right and His ways are higher than my own!