My wife wrote this piece and gave me permission to post it here:
Our son's screams filled the air, “You're killing me! Stop!” My efforts to remove a splinter from his foot were not appreciated. I decided to stop until he could regain his composure. Eventually we ended up putting him in the bathtub to soak it, as it became evident that any further attempts would have to be delayed until he was asleep. CJ has very instant and intense emotional reactions, which means that reasoning with him just doesn't work much of the time.
I wonder if this is sort of how I relate to my heavenly Father? Do I fight the processes by which He intends to make me whole? Do I surrender myself to His kind, loving, nurturing hand, or do I doubt His intentions towards me?
When I think about the way CJ's emotional response works against him, and even hurts him, I realize that the same applies to me. Though I may not literally scream and kick, I think sometimes deep down, there are some negative beliefs which keep me from experiencing the benefits of His care.
Like my son screaming that I am hurting him, my own inner turmoil keeps me from hearing God's firm, yet gentle commands: “Trust me. I will be here for you. Listen to me: I want you to cling to me. I am your safety and your supply. I won't leave you alone. I am your healer, your provider, your rest...” Instead of realizing the safety provided in His arms, I stay busy figuring out solutions, and pulling away from His tender touch.
“But now, says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you: I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for your life. Because you are precious and honoured in my eyes, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you... '.” Isaiah 43:1-5
My son may not hear me as I attempt to assure him that I am on his side, but it is true, nonetheless. Likewise, whether I choose to believe it or not, the truth remains that I have a Father who fights fiercely for me, who loved me enough to give his only son for me, who will be with me always, and who waits for me to understand how precious I am to Him.